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***************
Dylan
**A tiny flower leant not given, to bud
on Earth and bloom in heaven**
<3~*Merry Christmas*~<3
was pregnant we were shocked, I was only 16 years old and we had to break it our families. Soon they all got usedto the idea and we were all very excited. I was hoping for a baby boy so when I went to my 20 week scan and found I was expecting a little boy I was over the moon.
All through my pregnancy I worried that something would go wrong, but when I was around 20 weeks I finally thought that every thing would be fine and I calmed down a bit. We started looking through loads of catalogs and choosing exactly what buggy and furniture we wanted, we couldn't wait to buy it all. I really wanted to start buying clothes for our baby so we decided that because my 17th birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks if I could wait until then I would be at a reasonable stage in my pregnancy to buy clothes for our baby... So on May 20th we went into our local town and bought bottles, dummies, bibs, a towel and his clothes he would wear on the way home from the hospital.
On my birthday, I had my 22 week check up at my doctors and everything was going well. Every day I would look in the bag at all the things I had bought him, I was just so excited, all day long he would kick me but never when Aaron had his hand on my stomach to feel it. Then one night we were laying in bed and Aaron felt him kick for the first time we were so happy.
Six days after that appointment ( may 26th), I woke up and rushed to the toilet (as was normal by then, a baby doesn't leave much room for a bladder), then made some breakfast and sat down to watch TV.. At around 11 am, I started getting some light pains in my stomach.. I told Aaron but i didn't think nothing much of it, throughout the day, the pains started getting stronger and more frequent, I looked on the Internet and decided they were braxton hix (false) contractions.
It seems stupid now, but to me they just weren't that painful... Everyone always tells you, "when you're in labour, you'll know". I carried on with my day as best I could, but by around 3pm I started to get really worried so I sent Aaron a text message to tell him. It then got to the stage that when these pains came I had to stop what I was doing, but my mum had arranged to come around that evening so I thought I would talk to her, it was now 5:30 in the evening and Aaron called to let me know he was leaving work..
By that time I was getting uncomfortable and he rushed home. I then heard a knock on the door and it was my mum, I told her about the pains and she was quite worried. Aaron then came home and wanted to call my midwife, but she didn't work on Thursdays, so he decided to call the NHS help line. When Aaron told them my symptoms, they told us to ring the labour ward, he rang the labour ward & they told him to bring me in straight away, None of us had the means to drive to the hospital, so we had to wait for Aaron's sister (Cara) to come and pick us up to take us there, as I would've found it difficult to walk. We did not no where the labour ward was so we parked up and walked to try and find it, by now these pains were coming every 90-60 seconds,
I had to go to the toilet yet again, so we found one, I then found out I was bleeding.we finally found the labour ward and i gave in my pregnancy notes, they took me to labour room 9 and told me that some one would come and see me soon as possible, I was so scared I didn't even know if my baby was still alive yet it took a midwife ages to come and see me, every time I felt a pain I was really worried then I would feel a kick and then know that my baby was still alive.
Finally around 45 minutes after I arrived, a mid wife came to see me. she monitored my blood pressure that was fine then my temperature and that was a bit high after that she hooked me up to a machine to monitor my baby's heart beat, she had trouble finding it at first, I was so worried but then she found it and told me it was fine and I was over the moon, the mid wife then left,around 10 Min's later a consultant came in and told me that I was nearly fully dialated and what I had thought was braxton hix were actually contractions.
My heart sunk. I felt numb... I knew that at 23 weeks my baby barely stood a chance, Aaron was holding my hand crying but I couldn't even cry, the doctor gave me some pethidine and it just made me really sleepy. Contractions were coming nearly on top of each other and all I really remember was a man asking if I wanted them to try and resuscitate my baby after it was born, I was so sleepy and confused it took me about 10 minutes to realise Wat he said and said yes. After that all I remember is my body pushing then something happening, I thought my waters had broke but at 10:40 pm , I had actually give birth to my little boy.
He was born in the sac, then a doctor took my baby away and I didn't get to see him. Another Doctor put a needle in my leg and took away the placenta. we named our son Dylan, before he was taken down to scbu I was allowed one quick glimpse of him, he was so perfect I saw him kick his leg up and move his tiny fingers.I then had a shower and I was moved on to the maternity ward .They let Aaron stay with me, it was really horrible we were put in to a double room and the woman opposite had her baby , me and Aaron kept crying because we wanted our baby to be with us.
At around 2:30 am we were finally allowed to go and see our son properly for the first time, he was so small yet he was completely formed, he weighed 1 pound 8 ounces. I couldn't touch him at first because he was just so tiny and I was scared that I would hurt him. His eyes were still closed and he had so many tubes in him.We were told he was doing well and he was a good weight for his age, I couldn't be with him for long, I was so tired and I couldn't stand up for long. I had to leave my baby and go back to the ward. That was the worst night of my life, all night I was kept awake by the crying baby opposite. The next morning i woke up, then went straight to see Dylan the doctors told us that he had deteriorated and had to be put on a better ventilator, so me and Aaron called in our parents and we got him baptised .
Dylan was then given an injection for his lungs and he got stronger, he was put back on the original ventilator. Aaron and I were so happy, we took my brother and my friend to meet him, every body then went. I had a rest, I was just getting settled then a midwife said that Aaron and I had to go down to scbu immediately, we rushed down to our little man but he was deteriorating rapidly. We were then told that our baby was dieing.
That was when we got to hold our baby for the first time. The doctor then took all the tubes out and he died peacefully in our arms.After that we went in to another room and cuddled him and washed him and changed his nappy and dressed him for the first time. Our parent's couldn't handle seeing us hold our dead child. We were so lucky that we got to meet him and tell him we love him and tell him how special he is. We had a quiet little funeral for him at our local cemetery, I try to see him every day but Aaron doesn't always finish work in time. My Dad has made him a little cross with a brass plaque on it and he has lots of teddies on his grave.
When we went to see Dylan at the funeral parlour we wrapped him in a blanket and placed his 'going home' clothes over him, we put a bib on him and placed a photo of us by his head, we also gave him a little teddy, a bottle, a dummy and wrote a little letter to him. My parents placed a card in with him and Aaron's parents picked him a few small flowers. It has now bin 5 months since Dylan passed away and we are still finding it really hard. Dylan was our little angel, the best thing that ever happened to us. He was our number one, our first child, our everything.
Below is a poem that I found on another website... It seems to convey my feelings perfectly so we decided to copy it onto here.. Underneath that are some photo's of Dylan, they should automatically load up with headings, and change themselves every few seconds. Feel free to write a tribute or condolence message, or if you'd like you can "light a candle" in Dylan's memory. We're hoping to add more to this site as time goes by, and we'd like to thank everyone for all their support for us.
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Once I held an Angel so very close to me.
I watched him run, and jump, and dance,
but only in my memory.
I waited for the day he'd come, he'd bring such joy to all.
Then the Angel was called home,
he never had to fall.
He was to perfect for this world,he didn't need to stay.
He went straight up to heaven,
I'll join him there someday.
You don't know how I feel-
Please don't tell me that you do. There's just one way to know -- have
you lost a child too?
"You'll have another child!"
-- must I hear this each day?
Can I get another mother, too,
if mine should pass away?
Don't say it was "God's will" -- That's not the God I know.
Would God on purpose break my heart,
Then watch as my tears flow?
"Aren't you better yet?"
Is that what I heard you say?
NO! A part of my heart aches -- I'll always feel some pain.
You think that silence is kind,
But it hurts me even more.
I want to talk about my child
Who has gone through death's door.
Don't say these things to me,
Although you do mean well.
They do not take the pain away;
I must go through this hell.
I will get better slow but sure -- And it helps to have your near.
But a simple "I'm sorry you lost your child"
Is all I need to hear.
A million times I needed you
A million times I have cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You would have never died.
In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a special place, That none will ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
For all my love went with you
The day God called you home
***************
Please visit Dylan's Angel friends...
www.kayla-walters.memory-of.com
www.geocities.com/mummy2alison
www.naima-phillipsmaund.memory-of.com
www.reece-edwards.memory-of.com
www.joseph-bartholomew.memory-of.com
www.jack-cameron.memory-of.com
www.david-stephen-daniel.memory-of.com
www.paige-leigh.memory-of.com
www.ryanhill.memory-of.com
www.john-cavote.memory-of.com
www.keavey-louise.memory-of.com
www.freewebs.com/alfiewhite/index.htm
www.albie-turner12805.memory-of.com
www.oscar-avery.memory-of.com
www.hywel-m-williams.memory-of.com
www.freewebs.com/amieeandhayleysplace
www.jessica-marsh.memory-of.com
www.josephhadley.memory-of.com
www.oliver-jason-hutchinson.memory-of.com
www.cameron-weadock.memory-of.com
www.jessica-szydelko.memory-of.com
www.harvey-bax.memory-of.com
www.riley-herbertevans.memory-of.com
www.kori-hubber.memory-of.com
www.joshuahays.co.uk
www.ella-mae-gleed.memory-of.com
www.totsites.com/tot/babybailey
***************
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Click here to see Dylan Royce-Souppouris's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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Missing you...... / Nicole Royce (Mummy)
Hey sweetie, i kno i haven't posted anything up on here in a while... I'm sorry.Missing you SO much atm, Christmas is just around the corner again and i just wish i still had you here. I'll never forget you Dyl, you'll always be my special little man...
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i no how u feel / Stacey Stott (none)
just want to let u no ur in my thoughts my angel kyle garry was born sleeping on the 25/4/06 god bless our angels take care xxxx |
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I'm sorry / Ta'Erra McKinney (None)
You don't know me. My name is Ta'Erra McKinney. I am 17 years old and I live in Fairborn, OH. I'm recently going through the possibility of a miscarriage and I stumbled upon your page after doing some research. I read the...
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how beautiful / Charlotte
Tears are rolling down my cheeks after seeing your site, I don't know the words to descibe how you muxt feel, your little boy is beautiful and is the brightest star in the sky. Lots of love to you and your family
Char
Mummy to Maddy Continue >>
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I found your site... / Anna Q.
when looking for miscarriage support. I'm so sorry that your baby isn't with you. I love the picture of the three of you. What a beautiful family. You've done a great job on the site. |
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Dylan was, and is a blessing to the both of you / Heidy Read >> |
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Hi there Sweetie / Lee Albie's Mummy Read >> |
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So brave / Lisa Mummy To Angel Joseph ((SANDS Lisa2105) ) Read >> |
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Friends / Lee Albie's Mummy Read >> |
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Wonderful Tribute / Joseph's Mummy (Angel Mummy Too ) Read >> |
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Happy Easter! Always in my thoughts! / Eva Bates (Angel Mom ) Read >> |
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Sleep tight baby Dylan / Lesley Lock (Friend) Read >> |
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Happy Easter / Lee Albie's Mummy Read >> |
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thinking of u / Sarah Paige Leigh's Mammy (sands) Read >> |
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Special friends / Michelle (mummy of his new angel friend ) Read >> |
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| His legacy |
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...
...Poems...
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.
"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...
'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'
"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"
My Mum is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving Mum, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My Mum tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving Mum...through Heaven's open door,
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels.
My surviving Mum has a broken heart that time won't ever heal!
Hi Daddy Hi Daddy, its me,
Your baby boy in the sky.
Won't you tell me Daddy, Why does my mommy cry?
Doesnt she know I'm happy here,
Heaven's a beautiful place Oh, how it hurts me, Daddy
To see tears streaming down Mommy's face.
Daddy, tell her I'm much better here,
Jesus fixed my heart. But when I see mommy crying, It just about tears it apart.
I know it hurt you both, Daddy, When Jesus took me away.
But you and mommy remember, We'll be together again someday.
I can't wait to hug you, I never got the chance before. When its time for you to come, I'll be waiting at heavens door.
Then you'll both understand, Jesus knew where I needed to be.
What a marvelous place to live, Just wait and you both shall see.
Please let my Mommy know, Daddy,
That I heard every word she said. And I remember her softly kissing me As I lay cuddled in her arms.
Just one more thing Daddy, Before I have to go, I love you both very much And just wanted you to know.
Mummy's little baby is not really far away.
I'm keeping you in my heart and thats how it's going to stay
Although you didn't meet me and look into my eyes
Mummy will be thinking of you when I look up in the skies
And when I feel the sunshine, shining down on me
I will know you are safe and happy, and where you have to be
I have so many questions and there are no answers to find
But don't think for just a second that you'll ever leave my mind
You my precious angel made a mummy out of me
But our father up in heaven chose to raise you instead of me
God must have so much in store and wonderful plans for you
So I will carry this burden of pain so all your dreams come true
So don't you cry any tears my love, be happy and free
When god decides it's time, you will meet daddy and me
You are very special both hear and in heaven above
No matter where you are my angel you have Daddy and mummy's love.
Husbands Must Grieve Too
(The death of a baby)
When death visits a family, everyone tells the husband to be strong,
he must find the strength to carry, himself and his wife along.
Some people tend to forget that the husband is grieving too.
He also needs someone to carry him through.
The death is so much harder to take when it is a wee one,
it is like an arrow in your heart and you brain has come undone.
You feel that you need to put on a brave face to support your wife,
but how can do this, when death has taken your sons life.
If you feel like crying, please do not feel any shame,
any man who has lost a family member would do the same.
The baby was part of your life for a while and then he was taken,
and this has left the both of you very shaken.
Do not bottle up your feelings because this will cause you more pain.
You must let it out or it will drive you insane.
Grieving is a process and it has to run its' course,
even if you are screaming and crying yourself hoarse.
Be there for each other both wife and man,
and talk over your feelings the best way you can.
Cry in each others arms until the pain starts to ease,
and remember you baby boy at times like these.
A Father's Grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
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| Dylan's Photo Album |
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| Dylan a couple of hours before he took his last breath. |
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